From BigTop to BoofTown - the Christians are Coming to Cannabis
I'm going to open the week with a story today from Benzinga, though you might think Ben-zarro or Ben-zonkers –
"From Christian Megachurch to Cannabis:
The Minister Who Divorced the Pastor's Daughter
and Started a Weed Company"
THE SCOOP
Seems like I’m skipping to the final score, but the high-lights are always entertaining.
And even though I’ll mention 2 new brands today, I’m not pitching anything but straight heat at two rookies who are tying to break into the big leagues with no real time in the game.
Don't worry Christians: Jesus is going to round the bases just fine, Big-Top Christianity might get brushed back, but there are a couple of young players who might feel the chin music.
As you can probably tell, the theme for this cold winter Monday is: BASEBALL.
Cannabis and Christianity played double-header today - the headline above plus one in High Times - and it looks like a trio of Bible Thumpers are trying to get traded from Crazy Town to Team Cannabis.
Here’s the pitch: In 2015, Brendon Wilder was in a pickle. Maybe the whole jar: he had found his One True Love, Anna, in Dallas at his Big Top Mega Church and they wanted to break out and create their own home base together.
But before Brendon could find Paradise by the Dashboard Light with Anna, he had to handle a curve ball; a woman in a white dress who happened to be his current wife. Who also happened to be the Pastor’s daughter. Brendon was so far in the outfield, HE had taken HER last name.
The BigTop Mega Church had been his home team for 15 years and he was even batting second on the Pastor roster. He described the job like this: "I was traveling with a group called ‘The Power Team’ across America, breaking bricks and baseball bats and performing various ‘feats of strength’ for Christ."
[I swear on sweet baby Jesus’ swaddling clothes, it’s all in the Benzinga story.]
Right around this time, Brendon discovered the Holy Smoke itself: “Upon leaving Christianity and the church in 2015, Brendon discovered weed. Or, as he likes to put it, weed found him.” 'Coz he’s clever that way.
Brendon spit in the dirt, hiked up his big boy pants, and went on the road with his new ball girl, Anna. They even renamed their team: WILDER… get it? I agree, more like a wild pitch than a home run.
The first base they landed on was Bend, Oregon where he wanted to make a living growing fresh grass. Since he was now a free agent from the church, he added mushrooms to the lineup, and the newly Wilders decided to hit a long ball and move to Oklahoma City, where they’re “launching a new brand, Highest Intent.”
They don’t have product yet, but they have a Benzinga story and you know what they say: If you build it, they will come.
THE DEEP DIVE
Batting cleanup for the Crazy Christian All-Stars: hitting with a Higher Power from both sides of the plate and another Hall of Fame name: Craig Gross.
In its article “Former Adult Pastor Launches ‘Christian Cannabis” High Times calls Mr. Gross an Entrepreneur, Adult Pastor, and Founder of XXX Church.com, a triple play in LA.
The XXX Church is not a Vin Diesel joint, it’s a church whose website looks like Jesus got a job with Fast Company. The home page features his book which promises “a new way to talk about sex, porn, and masturbation.”
Christ on a Cracker, you can’t make this shit up! and I’m not even out of the first inning - -
THE LOOP BACK
But what’s Gross got to do with weed? The Porno Pastor launched “Christian Cannabis” last week.
And because the home team bats last: “Christian Cannabis, the logo of which features a dove carrying a cannabis leaf while in flight, will offer pre-rolls, as well as a cream, patch, balm, topical spray, oil, tincture and fruit chews (no cannabis crackers?). These products reportedly include biblical ingredients, such as frankincense and myrrh.
I'd be surprised if they don't develop a strain called "BURNING BUSH" that helps you see God and change your life for the better.
Make sure to pass the collection plate, and the Christian Cannabis, from the left.
And that’s the ballgame!
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